The Funk

Every once in a while, I fall into this weird mood in which I call “The Funk”.  It’s a feeling of being unsettled, discontent, almost like feeling lost… And while it’s difficult to explain, I find myself here so very often.  Could it be hormone related?  Who knows.  But lucky for me, it tends to never last more than a week or so.

At this point however, I can’t help but to ask myself, “What leads me to being in the funk in the first place?”  If I could answer that question, maybe I wouldn’t have to be stuck in it every month or every couple of months.  Is there a pattern that I am not seeing that slowly pushes me into this state that I have yet to notice?  Is this something that everyone deals with, but I’m simply unaware because I never socialize with anyone outside of my household?  And most importantly, if I’m unable to identify what gets me here, how do I identify what my body and mind is actually in need of once I’m here?

There is one thing for certain that I’m feeling a strong desire for when I’m in the funk.  And that is to “escape”.  While my life is perfectly fine in general and I have so much to be grateful for, I do have a very strong desire at the moment to be near the water.  Perhaps sitting on a beach somewhere in the sunshine with my laptop, gazing out into the open water with sand between my toes and the salty coastal breeze blowing into my face…

So perhaps the true reason for my being in the funk is simply just needing a good vacation with no responsibilities to consume all of my time and prevent me from being able to do what I truly want to do, which is write, relax, and feel zero stress.  It leads me to wonder if being in the funk is the result of going too long without catering to my own needs and wants, and only focusing on the needs of everyone else: husband, children, animals, work.  

As I get older, it seems like the days go by faster and faster.  At bedtime, I often wonder, where did the day even go?  So I suppose the real question is: What do I do to cater to my own needs each day?  What exactly are my needs?  And where the heck is the nearest body of water that will satisfy my need for escape, clarity, and peace?  I guess another important question would be: How can I be less needed by everyone else?  Where can I establish boundaries to free up space for my own self-care?